Dreams Tell Terrifying Truths

I've been struggling lately with escaping my dreams. I'm told all "artists" ( I hesitate to use the word, since I hate to refer to myself as an artist) struggle with dreams versus reality. To clarify, I have no qualms with the dreams that I hope to make reality. It's the dreams that occur when my head rests upon my pillows that distress me. I close my eyes at night and my sister haunts me. No matter where I am or how I've fallen asleep she is standing there. 

Last night I was out with friends (kickball) and had a little bit to drink before my eyelids fell closed. The initial flickers of dreams were pleasant and I drifted off to sleep. Around 2 AM I awoke, much like people do in movies or in television shows. I had a quite clear recollection of her standing beside my bed yelling idle threats that she would kill me if I didn't let her son leave with her. In my dream I removed a gun from under my pillow, shot her, then rolled over and went back to sleep. It was horrible. When I awoke, I lay in bed convincing myself it wasn't true. My hands shook. Sometimes I wish I could cry.